The Toilet Seat Pisser
by migs
For awhile now I’ve been twittering about a fucking Toilet Seat Pisser at work. Some bitch keeps taking a leak and doesn’t seem to care that they leave remnants of their disease filled piss on the seat. Note: this is a unisex bathroom with one toilet and no urinal.
Does this really bother me since I stand to piss? YES. I have to pick the seat up so if there is piss on the seat then it bothers me. Sometimes I even have to take a shit so YES it bothers me.
So I got to thinking about all the bathroom dilemmas we’ve had at work. There’s the exploding shitter whose shit seems to hit all sides of the bowl and loves to leave it there. There is also that shitter who pushes WAY TO HARD and leaves the bathroom all muggy and gross. There is also that cunt who sprays the air freshener like 7 times to mask out the ass… but it just turns into a really potent sea breeze smell with a hint of ass and because it’s so potent, it’s actually worse because it hurts your nostrils. And then there’s the person who doesn’t flush.
Anyway, 6 or so months ago, someone puts up a sign above the toilet. That shit said “Please put the toilet seat back down after use”
Ok first of all, I get it if it were a women’s bathroom and a guy needed to go so bad he “borrowed” it. But this shit is a unisex place of pissin’ and pooin’
You want to talk about equality, then you bitches betta learn to put the seat down and touch it like the rest of us. Because if we men have to touch it to put it up, then you bes touch it to put it down and if takes a gay man to be just as much of a diva… then this gay man is me cause I ain’t down with that double standard crap.
SO ANYWAY… my point is, this note probably pissed off the Toilet Seat Pisser. He probably thought, “If I gotta put this shit up and down every time I piss, then I want do it at all. I’ll piss as is.”
UGH. So now we both lose. Boys and girls. Piss and poo. It’s all over the place.
If I was straight and married to a woman, I would have a urinal installed in our master bath. That way she wouldn’t be so fucking irritated with a toilet seat being up. So when they redesign our office… I hope to god we have either mens and womens bathrooms… or at least a urinal for men who pee without fuss.
End rant. Long day.
Comments
i’ve come to two conclusions:
1) it’s a chick that’s squatting and not cleaning up
2) it’s a dude not lifting up the seat
Either way, we need to confine them to the nasty ass warehouse bathroom… all that shit is missing is a dirty mattress and some used syringes.
holy crap, did i heat up this conversation to make this post real? LOL. gawd i hope not. sorry about the double standard — true that on everything you said. i take back what i said earlier.
and can i add, people, you need to learn how a toilet works. if the damn handle is broken, don’t F’en leave your shit sitting in the bowl for the next person to see, be disgusted with, and without choice clean up your mess (if he/she needs to go bad enough). open the damn tank and flush your own shit down, mo’fos!!!
geez. it ain’t that hard. really.
LOL no, this was a long time comin’… but yesterday was just one of those mondays…!
It’s not me for sure! hahaha
LOL!
I know it wasnt me, i piss in the drain in the middle of the bathroom.